World Mental Health Day

I remember in 2014 social media was sent into a tail spin when a popular twitter user Brandon Allwood   wrote a touching blog post  ( his struggle with depression. I never knew of him before his post but I could relate to it. Like him I was depressed, even though I was undiagnosed, I knew my sadness was not 'normal'.

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living.

More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness and you can't simply "snap out" of it. Depression may require long-term treatment. But don't get discouraged. Most people with depression feel better with medication, psychological counseling or both. -Mayo clinic

Image result for depression definition

For me my depression developed closer to the end of my high school career. I just felt sad all the time and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't shake it.  I lived with  depression a long time, too long, it made me angry and mean; I was always lashing out especially at my parents.  I 'failed' at everything I did and then beat myslef up because I knew I did not give it my best. My parents could not understand why I was not excelling, I had "everything."  I just felt my life going into a downward spiral and I thought dying would save me from disappointing everybody and myself especially. I unlike many depressed persons had never tried to commit sucide (dying hurt lol); I was in mental anguish which killed my lively hood and my soul was now dark from despair.

Fast forward to 2015 when the most traumatic event of my life happened and my depression worsened. I went to counselling not for my depression but for the trauma, I saw this as an opportunity to find out if I was really depressed.  Counselling saved my life to be honest. I was able to talk about my feelings and problems in a safe non-judgemental environment. 

I was diagnosed as severly or chronicly depressed (I honestly do not remember).

Today is World Mental Health day and I thought I would share a synopsis of my battle with depression to help somebody get help. I  am no longer depressed (official diagnosis) but I do have sad days I just remind myself not to expect too much and start everyday with a smile.

Special thanks to Mr. Kevin Campbell from the Ministry of Education, Youth and Information for reminding me that I loved to blog.

If you experience any of these symptoms especially sucidial thoughts please seek some help, your life is precious and you matter.

  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
  • Fatigue and decreased energy
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
  • Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
  • Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
  • Irritability, restlessness
  • Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, includingsex
  • Overeating or appetite loss
  • Persistent aches or pains, headachescramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
  • Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
  • Thoughts of suicidesuicide attempts

Be Kind to one another, it might help someone :)


-Javanna Haughton